Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
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