whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
Randomize
