new low.... made out with someone while peeing
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
How does it feel to date your dad?
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
Randomize
