I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
just got out of a noise viloation because the cop recognized my roomate as his favorite chipotle burrito roller. just another reason I love ritos
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
First things first, I always get more drunk than the birthday girl. Like, who's idea was it to sing karaoke? I killed it.
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
Randomize
