i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
Dude, I just cut my asshole on the new toilet paper. If you rationed the grocery money to buy drugs, I better be getting some.
In my junk email folder, there are literally 67 messages from Alcoholics Anonymous. What..the fuck.
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
Randomize
