I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
She abandoned me on the doorstep of her hostel. Turns out you can't bring one night stands into those places. Slept in a train station next to a tramp. He gave me chips. And didn't steal my shit while I slept. So I'm counting this one as a win
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
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