It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
Someone came in the potted fern
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
Randomize
