I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
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