Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
Randomize