so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
sorry there isn't a 'perfect ass' emoji
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
It’s 830 am and the amount of Valentine’s Day snaps I’ve already seen makes me either want to vom, drink a bottle of wine, or buy chocolate
1000% No lie I was just looking on insta and was thinking about taking a bottle of wine to the face..
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
Randomize