90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
My boss spotted an injured PIGEON outside the front door this morning (at 3:30am) and requested that I catch it and take it to the vet. Catch it with what! Take it where!These requests have gone too far...
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
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