Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
I will pee on everything he values.
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
Randomize