some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
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