just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
I just won a riveting game of "who can drink the most vodka out of a hollowed out watermelon". Fucking New Yorkers.
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
Randomize
