I woke up to a bunch of college seniors jacking off a horse in my face. Geuss who didnt move in time?
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
Randomize
