Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
As if me making pizza in a skillet wasn't enough proof that I was in no state to be cooking, this burn blister on my hand is
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
Randomize
