you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
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