Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
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