im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
I kinda wanna Instagram the giant vag stain on my sheets. That is something to be proud of. It's a Christmas miracle.
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
Randomize
