she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
Ah, the precious few moments between when i wake up and when i realize why i'm sleeping on a treadmill.
Apparently, banging my bartender ex-girlfriend = free drinks again. Not every bad decision is a wrong decision.
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
Randomize