the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
when I woke up I found a half-eaten cherry toaster strudel sandwich with bacon in the middle.
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
Randomize
