Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
Sober January is a disaster.
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize
