My brain says no but my pants say off.
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
Randomize
