So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
Randomize
