And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
Are you missing a tooth after last night? Because I found one in my coat pocket...along with what smells like dried jäger and a package of deer jerky.
Uh not that I recall.
Oh wait nvm. It's mine. Yeup, definitely my tooth.
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
Randomize
