Did you know that cab drivers don't take quarters for payment? They don't even like it when you ask.
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
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