A homeless guy asked you to feel your boobs, you accepted in exchange for his broom to go with your witch costume..... that's when I cut you off
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
the roommate is literally cooking green eggs n ham, and I'm too hungover to see straight. Dr Seuss nightmare.
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
Randomize
