Remember that time I came into your room after taking a muscle relaxant and we argued about what state has the longest coastline?
I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
I've decided to tape numbers to the bottom of my heels corresponding to the number of drinks I can safely consume in them.
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
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