everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize
