i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
Want to FaceTime and watch me finish this bagel?
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
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