we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
Ya know what's the worst? Being drunk and wanting to show someone a picture of your goddaughter but not wanting to open the pictures on your phone because the first one is of someone's dick..
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
Randomize
