hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
The oven caught fire. I put it out, but called the fire department just to make sure it was okay since the smoke wasn't going away
You just wanted to meet firemen
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
Randomize
