I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
Priorities: waking up on your doorstep desperately clutching half a meatball marinara but with no sign of your keys, purse or housemate. Where are you?!
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
Randomize
