I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
Randomize
