it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
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