i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
They can be so fun, drunk bruises are like clues to the treasure of what actually happened last night. "why do I have a bruise on my belly button? oh right. i was trying to turn my stomach off so I would stop throwing up."
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
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