doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
tonights recap: old cokehead freind proposed in the middle of a country bar to his trash girlfriend, saw ex-fuck who now has star shaved into his head and another with his gf, and ex-bfs best friends crackin jokes about who would fuck me first. NEVER COMING HOME AGAIN
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
i told him my stretch marks were scars from a jellyfish sting........he totally bought it
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
The dude at Coffee Bean just handed me my tea latte and whispered, "pomegranate blueberry is such a sexy flavor". With a wink. I'm almost certain that there's an STD floating around in my drink.
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
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