and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
Last night I crashed my housemates tinderdate, smoked his weed and then left. He felt too awkward to say no.#Empowerment
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
Dude I can't beleive you didn't wake up. I literally f'd her IN THE DISHWASHER. Btw I'm pretty sure I also kinda broke the dishwasher.
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Randomize
