i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
Randomize
