ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
Randomize
