I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
Guess who's still drunk but on time to court to represent a DUI?
You are my hero
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
Randomize
