Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
i woke up this morning cuddling with a 3 foot statue of Jesus. heaven here i come
I should never bitch about not getting laid. He's begging me to come over and I'm saying no because I'm watching a Golden Girls marathon.
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
