i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
I gotta stop tellin complete strangers at the bar that they're the godparents to my first born
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
Randomize
