I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
Randomize
