Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
Official reason: I couldn't get time off. The real reason: last Xmas nearly ended in alcohol poisoning to prevent me from screaming like a velociraptor
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
Randomize
