That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
i wish there were pregnant emoticons
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
Why do guys in porn never have boxers on?
better question: why do you always text me when you're watching porn
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
Randomize
