I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
Don't EVER smell your tampon
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
Is it a coincidence that the reminder on my phone to take my birth control is "I'm ready to party" from Bridesmaids?
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
How naked do you want me to be?
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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