i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
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