we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
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