Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
my shit smells like andre
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
I told him I'd go cook him breakfast, but ended up passing out on the kitchen floor in the fetal position spooning the dog
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
Randomize
