i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
Randomize
