I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
ok first of all what the fuck
Randomize
