we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
he puts the penis in happiness.
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
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