make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
Just got hit on by a 50 year old Englishman who is now swapping drunken racing stories with my mom. Live Mariachi band in the background. How's that for a wake?
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
Randomize
