Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
im in class. still drunk. wearing one sock. eating a breakfast sandwich and trying to make sure this bottle of whiskey doesnt fall out of my purse in front of my professor
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Randomize
