Soap is not a condiment
I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
THE PRUIS IN YOUR DRIVEWAY IS NOT YOURS
excuse me?
I accidentally borrowed your spare keys a while ago...i just tried them...that, my friend, is not your car.
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
Randomize
