yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
Randomize
