I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
Randomize