You know you have a problem when you walk into your bathroom find kettle one in your shower and a note you wrote yourself when drunk that says "panties at jared leto's" on your counter
please tell me that the half empty jar of cocktail sauce on the table has nothing to do with my missing seamonkeys
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Randomize
