sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
I didn't know what to say so I just sent him a chicken emoji
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
Randomize
